Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Why My Husband and I Don't Grocery Shop Together

I believe in soul mates - I do.  I believe that there is one right person for everyone out there, no matter what the statistics say about "x" number of people that each of us is apparently compatible with in this world.

My husband is the love of my life.  I can't imagine not having him as my other half.  We are different in so many ways, but somehow we work.  You know that saying about how opposites attract?  That's us.  Our interests couldn't be more different, but I think we work because our morals and values are the same.  We believe in the same things - and I don't mean in a religious/spiritual way.  We believe in doing the right thing even when others don't.  We believe in giving back.  We believe in making a difference.  We believe in doing good.  We believe that there is beauty in the world we live in and that we are lucky to be able to experience it.  We believe that life is short and so we should enjoy it.  Most importantly, we believe in each other.
We also believe in not grocery shopping together.  Here's why.

We were in our local grocery store not too long ago.  We usually don't go together because we drive each other crazy and bicker the whole time. 
You see, if we split up in the store, one person hasn't gotten his or her list completed fast enough.  Usually me.  I like to take my time and browse for recipe ideas.  He usually forgets something on the list or gets the wrong thing, even when I write a paragraph next to the item on the store-ordered list telling him what it looks like, what the label says, what aisle it's in, and where it is on the shelf.  
However, if we get one cart and work through the list together, then we argue about buying the brand name versus the store brand or how many packages of cookies to get or which brand of crackers is better or which one is on sale or which kettle-cooked brand of chips tastes better (I like Utz).  You get the point.  I could go on and on even more than I already have, but I'll spare you.  (You're welcome.)  It's just become so much easier to go alone, sans spouse and child. 

But, for some reason, on this day, we ended up there together.  It was supposed to be a quick trip "just to pick up a few things," but we all know how that goes.  You go in for three things and you come out with a cartful of groceries, none of which you really need, but you were hungry when you went in and so you think buying all of the food that looks good will somehow satisfy your immediate appetite.  Then you tell yourself that you'll never do that again even though you know you will.  This is one of life's greatest mysteries.

On this particular trip, we decided to split up.  I had to pick up some sort of side salad from the deli for his mom, but I wanted to make sure it was good before I bought it.  I asked the woman behind the counter if I could try both the potato and macaroni salad.  As I'm taste testing, I see my husband coming up the aisle, rolling his eyes at me. 

"Are you seeeerrrrious, Clark?"
(He thinks he's funny when he pays homage to any line from any movie... in this case, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.)

"I have to know if I like them before I buy one," I say.
"I'm sure they're both fine.  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST PICK ONE AND LET'S GO!" 
I ignore him (which I often do in moments like this) and take my time sampling until finally deciding on the potato salad.  (Just for the record, my husband who was so impatient ended up finishing the samples I got in case you were wondering.)
We check out and head to the car, neither one of us talking to the other.
"Only MY wife has to taste-test salads at the grocery store," he mumbles under his breath just loud enough so I can hear him.
"What was that?"  I ask.
"I said I love you," he replies.
Good.  I thought so.

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